Spoiled Children

There should be a warning label or an instruction manual with a child when born, to avoid all the horrible things that could go wrong when parenting, in order to become a good life teacher. As if parenting wasn't hard enough, parents now have to worry about about spoiling their children. Their is a such thing as "Spoiled child syndrome ". Swain implied that the syndrome " occurs when the parent indulges the child's every whim or wish ". Further more, it deals with children recieving power from the parents and results in a child that is " obnoxious, ill-tempered, ill-mannered, selfish, and often immoral. Parents need to set boundaries and age appropriate limits for their children. They need to teach them about the concept of ddelaye dgratificaion.

Overindulgence can have catostrophic effects on a child emotionally and mentally, as well as when they grow up into adults and later become parents. There are also hindrances outside as well as inside the family that play negative influenial hindrances. Parents need to watch out for influencs at school as well as home. Church can also be a place that feeds into childrens wanting. This is due to their fellow peers that they so desire to impress. Family issues as well as the media would have to be the biggest influences.

Overindulged Adults

Many of the attributes that an overindulged carries into adulthood. Many of these adults feel love, feel good because they got everything they want, others feel confused, others have feelings of guilt and sadness. A large majority of overindulged adults have trouble determining what is enough. They have difficulty making decisions, the need of being rewarded and praised to feel excepted, feel that others will take care of them, felt unlovable, felt they needed to buy others gifts order to be loved, and constantly neede the approval of their friends. People not knowing what is enough have trouble with food, money and buying gifts, parenting issues, interpersonal boundary and relationship problems. In many cases of overindulgence abuse is many times found in the home.

Overindulged parents need to take control over their life in order to break the cycle. If they are not careful they will raise their kids with the same life skills the learned. They need to do research and be prepared for the parents in this affluent society face. They need to watch out for future relationships with people in society and their children. It is okay to keep some of the things they learned as a child but adjust the rest to fit their nurturing kind of parenting.

Hindrances of Overindulgence

"Almost everyone in the United Staes owns a telephone, television set, and a automoblie (U.S. Census Bureau) and in the homes were the lower middle class live have comforts like plumbing, heat, and air conditioning that far exceed those enjoyed by royalty 1,000 years ago (Kasser). Children as well as adults don't realize how good we got it in this day and age, due to the afflunent society that we live in. The hindrances of overindulgence start in the home; due to problems between parent, lack of love or time spent, over-working parents, addiction in the home, only child, etc. Next hinderance would be the media targeting kidsa from birth to get them hooked on their products. The media has a slogan related to that and it is called "cradle to grave loyalty". With many individual children watching over 40,000 commercials a year, this makes it hard for parents in this affluent society we live in not to give into their children's constant wanting. Another problem would be school and the peers children see everyday. Children as well as adults feel they have to one up the next person by getting something better than that person has recently gotten. Every child wants the coolest toys, shoes, clothes, etc.

As if raising a child wasn't hard enough. Now parents have to worry about children being influenced by tv as well as everyday people they hang out with. Kids are being tricked into wanting things constantly. And because we live in such an affluent society, parents usually give in. Kids don't have to have the coolest stuff, just what they need will be sufficient. Not saying presents and suprises are not okay, but frequently is "too much "

Reasons for Overindulgence

A lot of times a child is overindulged to satisfy the parents needs, not the child. A parent may have grown up in poverty and don't want the same for their children. "When children are indulged, they develop in an enviroment which is not realistic aince they do not learn skills such as perseverance, coping with failure in effective ways, and compromising. Because overindulgence hinders children from completing their developmental tasks and prevents them from learning necessary life lessons, it can be conceptualized as a form of child neglect" ( Bredehoft ). Due to this form of neglect children are developing depression, bad anxiety, undesirability, can't make decisions on their own, and have bad relationships with family as well as people in society. A hindrance to parents in this society is not just poverty, but the fact that we live in an affluent enviroment. When the effects of affluence were studied, the author stated, " Privileged children keep struggling with their perceptions of what life is like in a Americafor others, for the less fortunate. The privileged seem, in fact, frightened and guilty and confused and conflicted (Coles ). This materialistic way of thinking can cause opportunity as well as problems. Such as, " spoiled children with obnoxious behavior and superior attitudes, unmotivated adolescents who care only for their stereos and clothes, reckless teenagers living delinquent and self-destructive lives (Hausner ).

Parents need to be aware of this new generation of spoiled children and things that can hinder this process. By avoiding this subject they are cheating themselves out of teaching their kids valuable life lessons. Such as, the concept of delayed gratification, which leads to understanding the concept of working for what you want in life. Also teaching that they need to rely on themselves not others to take care of them. Parents need to nurture more than overindulge.

Personal Experience With Overindulgence

I myself was overindulged as a child and am spoiled to a degree as an adult. Growing up my dad worked very hard to maintain a job or jobs, in order for us (my mom, sister and I) to have everything we wanted. I always had the coolest toys, the nicest clothes, and the the newest shoes. My dad deep down had good intentions, but had no clue he was setting the rest of the family up for failure. I feel like I need my parents help constantly and also suffer from bad nerves and depression. This is due to not being taught valuable life lessons as a child and also being able to deal with society and life on its own terms. My sister suffers from the same complex. My mom on the other hand, feels like she has to buy things to make herself feel better. She has so much stuff in her house you have to dig yourself through just to make a path. Unfortunatly, she lives a very lonely and empty life and these materialistic things do not make a difference. My dad started this vicious cycle due to his childhood. His dad died when my father was nine years old. So, his mother gave him everything and let him get away with everything in order to make him feel better. And in turn this taught him bad coping skills as well as cheating him out of valuable life lessons. My dad spoiled us to make up for him not being there as well as love lost. It is safe to say my dad had no clue when was "too much".

I need to change this viscious cycle before these traits carry over to my own children. It needs to be made a point to be aware of my childhood and try to make several different decisions and some the same when it comes to raising my own kids. I want my future children to have a chance at a healthy productive life without depending on others. I also need to steer clear of overindulgent relationships. Because I want a healthy life with healthy relationships.

Overindulged Adults and Ways To Avoid Overindulgence

Growing up as a child of overindulgence it is hard not to carry those parenting traits into ones own parenting skills as an adult. Being that those skills learned as a child are there for the taking when needed, one needs to leave what is unuseful behind and learn from the rest. Overindulged parents as well as uninduled tend to set bad examples for their children, by not being consistent: by saying ond thing and doing another, by not following through with what they say, etc. Some parents indulge to make up for their own poverty as a child: others do it to bacause that is how they were raised. This is not an unbreakable cycle. With time it can be changed and have necessary changes made to raise responible children.

" It is probably natural for all parents to want the best for their children. To give their children everything they can so they have a good start in life; but giving " too much " is quite a different thing than " enough ". It is very important for parents to understand the difference between nurture, structure, and overindulgence. Uncoditional love would be nurture, which is vital ina child's growth and well-being. That is not enough though. Children need to learn standards, limits, and life skills . Parents need to set good age appropriate limits and bounderies for their children. Overindulgence is misled nurture and insubstantial structure. Nurturing is loving and helping your child, overindulgence is doing damage. Parents need to be there for the growing of their child's emotions without overindulgence, this is vital in the childs emotional health. Parents need to watch out for overindulgence, because they are cheating themselves out of teaching valuable life lessons to their children. This can hinder the childs decision making, relatoinships skills, and time and money management. In turn hurting a childs chance of learning adult responsibilities. Relying on others to do things for them.

forms of overindulgence

The first form of overindulgence would be the concept of too much. Which is not being able to comprehend what is enough. Overnurturing is the second concept. By doing too much, parents are overnurturing. They can also overnurture by spoiling, paying too much attention, things that kids should be learning to do on their own, parents are doing, and kids are being allowed not to take others into cosideraton. The third is lack of structure. This is have no rules or don't have consequences if rules are broken. In turn kids are not learning valuable life skills. These forms of overindulgence can happen in two or all three ways.

Overindulgence can carry into adulthood with painful side effects. It starts with these adults not knowing skills that are vitale in adulthood. These adults are embarrassed and also feel that others resent them. They also feel that they are the center 0f attention and that others are responsible for them. They are stressed because they dont know what is enough clothing, food, money, play, or work.